The Work of Healing

It’s been a hot minute since I wrote a blog post here at Whole Human.  And by a “hot minute” I mean more than a month. 

As many of you know in early September I (Chris) flew out to Denver, CO for the second week-long intensive that is part of my certification in RIM (Regenerating Images in Memory).  Unlike the first intensive week, intensive week 2 is focused much more on self-evolution than learning the skills required to be a RIM Facilitator.  For those of you who haven’t guessed, “self-evolution” is all about doing our own personal healing and growing.  This, my friends, is where the work is. 

During my week in Denver, I had some massive personal breakthroughs, including a session where I realized that a lifetime of putting on emotional armor to protect myself, and walking into the arena to fight for everything (love, money, respect, happiness) had left me disconnected from my soul.  In response to the traumas I’ve lived through, I realized that I’d become someone who is not exactly the real me.  Instead, I was the man protecting himself from everything – pain, sadness, loneliness, shame, you name it.  I also came to understand that I have been looking for a deep connection for most of my life.  I’ve spent much of my life looking in the wrong places for this sense of connection – what I was seeking is a connection with myself. This was a powerful revelation for me. Do you feel disconnected from yourself? I am learning that a lot of us do.

I have to tell you that the sessions I had during the week 2 intensive were hard.  The act of removing all of my own personal armor and committing to the vulnerability I needed in order to connect with my own spirit was intense and challenging.  By the end of my time in Denver, I was wrecked and ready to come home. 

Since then I’ve been exhausted, taking naps regularly and putting in less time building my business than my “do the work” mind thinks I should be putting in.  I’ve had some moments of frustration with myself about this.  And yet, it’s also been a huge learning opportunity for me – one that is important to understand both as a healing facilitator and someone who very much wants to heal. Here’s what I’ve realized:

Healing is hard work.  When we do the work required to heal ourselves, it can leave us exhausted, tired and in need of deep recharge.

We humans (particularly we American humans) have a lot of societal rules about what work is.  Commonly, we think it should be hard – “if you’re not working hard, you’re hardly working” is a phrase I’ve seen before.  But we tend to look at hard work as what we do when we’re pushing ourselves physically or mentally in our jobs.  Our culture has little tolerance for the emotional effects of these societal rules.  And what I realized myself is that I was completely failing to recognize that, after six months of heavy-duty emotional healing, I was frickin’ tired.  In order to move forward with my vision of helping others heal, I need to recognize that I need rest. 

Many of us are desperately seeking the quick and easy healing route.  We are hoping to find the holy grail of healing that, with one little sip, will heal all our wounds.  I can personally tell you that there is no such thing.  Healing takes work.  Maybe a little, maybe a lot.  But no matter what, it takes work.  But if you’re willing to do the work AND allow yourself the opportunity to rest afterwards, you can change your life.  I can say for sure that my life has changed more in the past six months than I could have ever imagined.  There’s more work to do, of course, and after a bit more rest – I’m ready to do it!

I’ll end with this quote from Nicola Jane Hobbs: 

Instead of asking, “have I worked hard enough to deserve to rest?” I’ve started asking, “have I rested enough to do my most loving and meaningful work?”